The Redheaded Outcast
by OryssaV
Summary: Percy has been hurt once too often and he decided to leave. PW & FD pairing


**title:** The Red Haired Outcast  
**author**: OryssaV  
**rating:** PG-13  
**pairings:** PW/FD. mentioned PW/PC, the Weasleys, HP/GW, HG/RW, NL/CW, FD/BW  
**summary:** about percy and how life fucked him up  
**spoiler(s):** OotP, GoF  
**disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
**author's notes:** I don't like what he did in the fifth book but what's done can't be undone. I wrote this before OotP came out (the first version looked nothing like this one) and when OotP happened. I changed the plot a little.

-:-

I left the room, put on a coat and went outside. I needed a break and walk sounded like a reasonable idea at the time.

After three hours of constant shouting where no one really says anything sensible... it was too much. There were too many uncontrollable emotions in the air. This is what I don't like about people here - they aren't professional, they let emotions guide them. But emotions are too disorderly at times.

Nothing ever changed. It was just another typical Order of the Phoenix meeting where people argued and fought. Once Dumbledore left the place, hell broke out and it didn't seem likely it would go down anytime soon.

My parents still haven't forgiven me for lying to them all this passed year and a half. They said I hurt them, (as if) and because I am a cold-hearted person it was damn fun to pretend I was somebody else all this time. They said that I hurt them most when I didn't want to accept their Christmas presents. They said… mind you, yelled into my face that I destroyed the sense of family unity they worked so hard to achieve.

Dumbledore asked me to spy on Cornelius Fudge, I had to do everything to make it seem even more reliable; hence lose contact with my god forsaken Dumbledore-loving parents. But I soon noticed that bringing Dumbledore into the conversation didn't help much, it seemed to make things worse, because I could have told them. They, being my parents, would have kept it secret. As if. It seemed like only twins understood me.

Funny how life goes, twins were always playing nasty jokes on me, taunting me and making my life miserable. Now, they were the only ones that have forgiven me. They gave me a hug, saying, "We don't hate you Perce. Life is short… we make it fun. It's good to have you back…"

They understood, as well as did Harry. But that I think happened because Dumbledore had taken to have regular chitchats with him.

It was a difficult decision, one of the most complicated choices I had ever made. I don't regret it. It took me a long while to think about it - measure the consequences and the possible outcomes. I knew it was a right thing to do… honorable even. I was just questioning my own endurance because once I was in, I was not going back.

All I asked for was little understanding and compassion from those I thought loved me the most. Sure, they appreciate what I've done for the "side of light", and yet, I lost the loving family I once had.

I thought Penelope would recognize the sacrifices I made, after all she was there with me, and she knew what was going on. In a way, I did it for her, so that we could have the life I dreamed of. I trusted her. But she left me for someone "with more aspiring ideas", for someone who would give her what she wanted. I, as it seems, was unable to make her happy. Petty woman.

As I found out, she's had an affair with some bloke for a few years now. I was distressed of course; this would mean she has cheated on me from the beginning of our relationship. And thus, the image of a loving and caring girlfriend has been destroyed with one letter scribbled hastily.

Everything happened so quickly and in such a short period of time. I had trouble adjusting. I never expected everything to end so abruptly. In my mind, I always thought my parents would hug me and forgive me for the words I said but didn't mean, that I would marry and live with my wife and children happily, that I would have a good job and possibly afford conditions for my children I've never had.

I always had been a type of loner… and when I thought things were going to turn for better, in one short abrupt turn everything came crushing down.

I still work for the Order of the Phoenix; Dumbledore asked me to. But it is nothing important anymore, just some leftovers that need to be tended to. "Percy, would you type this up. Percy would you give this to the minister… Percy would you do these… do that…" Nothing serious, paperwork.

-:-

The air cooled me down, and froze that bitter part of me.

The weather changed slowly.

I walked in the midst of the Hogwarts garden. I always wondered who took care of it. I've never seen anyone at the task. It was probably charmed to bloom so beautifully, the fragrance of so many flowers invading my nostrils, intoxicating me, making me feel at ease and high. It was a dream.

It had to be a dream.

This was a garden made for lovers who were looking for a reclusive spot. And my thoughts drifted to Pen again. I had never anticipated I would feel this much hurt when she left. All I felt were betrayal and that ache sitting in the middle of my chest.

Then came the numbness.

I left the garden suddenly unable to see so much chastity. I walked slowly towards the lake. I graduated so long ago it seemed and yet, Hogwarts hadn't changed at all. I could still find my favorite hiding spot just on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. It was surrounded by trees, with enough light still penetrating the gloom from the forest. It was so far away from the castle that nobody had ever bothered me over there, whether I was doing my homework or just thinking.

Right then it seemed just the right place to be in. I still felt lightheaded from the scent of the flowers...

As I reached the glade I was stopped by an unknown person there. She stood there staring at nothing. Her eyes were unfocused and unmoving.

I felt slightly dizzy then. It was such a pleasure to look at her body. She stood barefoot on the dewed grass, and each blade cuddled her delicate feet. She was clad in a light white night-gown. The fabric was so thin it barely hid her body underneath it. So unbelievably erotic.

It heaved with the wind, tangling between her unbelievably long legs.

She stood there looking at the darkening sky and I followed her gaze. 'It's going to rain,' I thought feebly. Murky clouds were gathering on the southern part of the horizon and they seemed to glide towards me. Who would have thought? It was so gorgeous outside for most of the day. Sun was shining genially; there was slight breeze and no humidity. It was a perfect weather for much needed rest.

I looked at her face and I drew one step back.

She was smiling to the clouds, as if she was calling them to come over, as if they were her friends. Dear God, she was so beautiful like this: her hair shone with mysterious light. I have never seen such glow before. Her hair was white like snow, long and frosted like icicles. Her hair was white, not blond, or gray, or silver. It was a cold color and yet it flamed with an unnamed fire. I remember that I wanted to slide my fingers into the silk of her hair. To feel it. To feel the difference between her softness and my red curls.

I heard a voice calling me; it was quiet like a rustle of leaves on the trees or crackle of pebbles in a nearby creek; only for me.

I felt a pair of eyes on me, and I jerked from my thoughts when I realized she was looking with an unreadable gaze. I realized that she knew from the beginning that I was there, behind the shrub hiding. I drowned in the sea of a green shade searching me. I never knew people could have such depths in their eyes, I never saw such intensity before. Her eyes were unexplained to me; she had green in the corners and mostly grey irises, but on the edges a blue hue was lurking. My eyes are black, so unlike any Weasley.

What was I supposed to do? Run off as I probably would have done few days ago? So much had changed since then. Besides, I would have never forgiven myself. To the end of my pathetic life I'd tell myself off for running.

I was blushing. It is not easy to be redheaded, ask any Weasley. Red hair and freckles give us out. That and a hot temper.

I don't know how, but my legs took me to her. I felt as if I was walking on a jelly legs hex and any minute I could fall. We stood facing each other; I was taller so I had to incline my head a little. And we gazed at each other. We didn't touch so much as even a brushing of clothes.

How was it possible for something so beautiful and so innocent to live amongst such evil and pain? Oh, she was hurt; I saw it in her questioning eyes. People never appreciate anything good especially if it is beautiful.

Did she feel the air vibrating? Did she hear my struggled breathes? I needed to know if she was just a mirage, just a dream. But I didn't want to frighten her.

I didn't want to hurt as many before me have done.

I was frightened myself. I was so scared she would run away. I lost track of time and I really felt as if nothing was happening for real.

Swiftly she drew up her hand in the space between us, suspending it in the air, her palm opened towards me. It was supposed to be my choice. But my choices were taking such atoll on me… I hesitated. I don't even know how, but my body decided for me. My hand slowly tried to reach hers, tentatively. Did she notice it shaking? Such a beautiful flower, my flower.

When our hands finally touched I just had to close my eyes. Silkily her fingers twined with mine; they looked so perfect together.

Once again the feeling of unreality hit me. I needed to feel her, needed to taste her. She whispered 'love you' with an accent and I never heard such tempting words before.

To this day I remember the taste of her lips on my tongue, taste of her tears when we parted. I remember how easily her hair slipped with my brush, how it smelled of apples and wine. I still dream about her body under mine as my hands mapped it out. And I felt so loved and beautiful.

She was such a beautiful flower, my Flower.

-:-

I woke up in a hospital.

It felt strange to be in such place, in cool room with white blankets covering me.

It felt so utopian.

The healer said that I was in coma for about a year. That's pretty long I daresay. I felt wasted, all heavy and sleepy. I couldn't explain where my last year went. And all that happened when I was out, so much catching up to do… I almost hyperventilated. And sadly there was nobody by my bed, nobody had bothered. It hurt so much.

Life was so vague from that point on.

The next day my mother and father came up to visit me. They hugged me and smiled and cried that I finally had woken up, that everybody was so worried. I knew they spoke the truth, it was obvious in the way they talked, and it was in their gestures and caresses. And yet, I couldn't explain why I was so detached, I tried to care and couldn't bring myself to it. Of course I said to them it was great to be back and some other trash. I smiled when I thought it was necessary, and nodded and agreed… and just wanted them to leave so badly.

I returned home next week. Still weak in my knees I walked leaning on a stick; I refused any help any pity they wanted to conceal. Everybody was there; nobody had suffered as much as I did, in my family anyways. I found out who had died and who suffered what injuries. But not only did I lose a year of my life, I lost the girl I had thought I loved, my family and the ability to fight for what I thought was right.

Everybody had changed and I wasn't there to see it. Harry married my little sister; Ron was engaged to Hermione. Surprisingly Neville was going steady with Charlie, which was a bit unexpected. Mom and dad were as energetic as usual, very enthusiastic and supporting. But I felt so awkward and left out. Mother introduced me to Bill's wife, Fleur, but she didn't have to.

I looked into her eyes, and she stared at me confused. I thought I had nothing to lose anymore, and how wrong I was. I asked her "Why?" to the startled faces of my family and friends. She just looked at me unabashed.

I just didn't know anything then. I was so confused.

No matter how much they showed they cared I just couldn't return that. And I didn't want them to hurt as I did. So I did the only thing I thought was right - I left.

I still write them. I try to be polite though I don't care anymore. Only twins and Harry stayed persistent and visit sometimes. I even visited them once or twice… and I love my nephews and nieces very much.

But I'm still alone, still broken.

Koniec

By: oV


End file.
